The Revival.

Its been what almost two weeks after i've have finally and safely given birth to my second lil sweetie cupcake? It was a tedious long journey of life. A whole of shock and surprises came knocking into my life. I was abrupted by it. When i was hit by the perturbing news, i made bestfriends with only myself. I shut down on everyone and everything. This included my Hubby. ( I would like to apologise to those who tried calling me and i never picked up your calls and smses whom i never reply. I hope you guys understood my dilemma. But i'm truly touched by the love and gestures you guys showed me. Thank you so very much) I spent days of my life crying, worrying and endlessly praying. I prayed hajat for faith and strength, i prayed isytiharah for him to lead me. Being in solitude was my choice of life, hope and prayers were my pals. I was too self absorbed with the matter that i forgot i was not the only living soul in the family that was affected by the news. Then something happened that woke me up, revived me from the living dead. A letter. A letter that Hubby wrote to me. What contained in the letter made my heart and soul melt into gratitude and somewhat ashamed of myself. The letter made me stand up again even after few falls. It gave me the courage to move on and cherish every seconds of life that Allah offers you. One day, before Hubby left for work, he came to me and as usual, he kissed me and then, handed me a piece of paper. He told me to read it and said please remind yourself that i love you very much. Of course during that course, my heart was made of stone. His words and gestures did not move me an inch. I did not even read the letter until three days later. And it made me remorse to the greatest height. Dear Wifey, I know you're troubled with the situation right now. I'm sorry that it happened. I know you're sad and i am too. I'm worried about you. I missed you. Please do not reproach yourself. It's not your fault. Things happen. Just like you always tell me sometimes things happen for the best of life and ALLAH is lovely and kind. To tell you truthfully, I can loose anything else but i can never loose you. You made me complete. I need you. If we were to ever loose the baby, we can always try for another one but if i were to loose you, there can never be another you. NO one can ever replace you. Please be strong. Be strong for the sake of me, for the sake of Samuel and the baby. It hurts me to see you like this. I miss your smile, your laughter , I miss everything about you. Its not about you loving or needing me but its about me needing and loving you. PLease stay positive and strong. You're a strong person. I fall in love for the person in you. The person whom always believe in Allah kindness eventhough life is in a twirl. The fact that you always bring out the smile in me while i'm not in a mood, You making me laugh when I'm sad, you made me at ease when i'm worried and you motivating me when i'm all down and out. The way you comfort me when I'm angry and the look in your eyes and the smile on your face when i come home everyday from work which made me the happiest and the luckiest man on earth. When you sat by my side watching me eat and always nagging me to eat more vegetables, making sure i eat my vitamins everyday and you coming to me in the middle of the night to be in my arms. I can never loose all these. Who will do and treat me the way you treated me if you're gone? You have always said it hurts you seeing me sad and dissapointed, then stop reproaching yourself. I'm overly devastated by the situation but i have to be strong for us. What about Samuel? Don't you wish to see his first step? His first tooth? When he goes to school, don't you want to be apart of his growing up? Can you let yourself drift when you think of him? Maybe you think I'm being cruel not trying to understand your pain but it hurts me even more to see you give in immediately to the dissapointment that we're facing right now. It hurts me worse when you stopped being the woman that i married. The woman that i fall in love and changed my life to the best. I miss you dear. You're the most important person in my life, i cant live without you. I'm greatly happy and thankful for my life and you. I love our family. You're my beautiful wife, great mother to my son and my bestfriend. You're my heartbeat. Please do not let go of us dear. Let's go through these together. I love you. Thank you for being my wife and everything that matters to me. I MISS YOU. Take care dear. I'll see you in the morning when i get back from work. Muacks. Love you and samuel and the baby. These was what said by Hubby in the letter. His every word. He expressing his feelings. I felt guilty and was choked by tears upon reading the letter. I was the cruel ones. I have had the best in life yet i succumbed myself just over the little test that Allah set in for me. This is the letter that revived me from the holocaust. When i was in the operating theatre and danger set in, the thought of hubby's words, he himself, samuel and my parents was playing in my mind. I said a little prayer and held onto the ropes of hopes that everything will be fine and ALLAH IS GREAT AND FAIR. Alhamdullilah, everything went on well. Both Baby and me are safe and we're now a family of four. Dearest Hubby, I love you HUBBY. Thank you for being my strongest rope of life when life was at the brink of the end. I'm glad we're one. I will not trade anything for you either. You're the best in me. Thank you for being my hubby and loving me that much. The man i married. My significant other To this, YA ALLAH, Thank you for everything be it bad or good. Thank you for giving me another chance to live the best of life that you've offered me. Thank you.